All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
