Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize