dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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