My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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