Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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