remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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