I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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