haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
