it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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