So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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