absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live