Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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  (513): you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her http://tfl.nu/dn9c
  Replies (48) Good night (912) Bad night (5491)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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  (828): finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night... http://tfl.nu/doej
  Replies (12) Good night (683) Bad night (4648)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.

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  (901): the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever. http://tfl.nu/iaa1
  Replies (29) Good night (1141) Bad night (6635)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?

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  (515): I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive? http://tfl.nu/wveq
  Replies (45) Good night (5828) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11484) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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  (443): i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor http://tfl.nu/enmw
  Replies (4) Good night (2415) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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  (707): It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know. http://tfl.nu/9rsw
  Replies (20) Good night (1642) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder

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  (706): if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder http://tfl.nu/3zsu
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

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  (772): Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa http://tfl.nu/i2pg
  Replies (11) Good night (1631) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing

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  (336): So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing http://tfl.nu/2fy2
  Replies (10) Good night (1419) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.

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  (219): The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon. http://tfl.nu/hfsi
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.

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  (502): You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1. http://tfl.nu/n49y
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I regret none of it.

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  (585): I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house. (1-585): I regret none of it. http://tfl.nu/t45o
  Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt

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  (616): That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt http://tfl.nu/2m8h
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (353)

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