I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?