Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

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  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
  Replies (13) Good night (2015) Bad night (653)
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  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3706) Bad night (802)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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  (516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!" http://tfl.nu/g6w4
  Replies (81) Good night (5097) Bad night (1121)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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  (856): If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/y6yr
  Replies (50) Good night (948) Bad night (8055)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.

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  (251): There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged. http://tfl.nu/om7h
  Replies (17) Good night (6024) Bad night (1846)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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  (214): Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry. http://tfl.nu/h3dm
  Replies (20) Good night (2611) Bad night (1067)
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  (559): View more from California

  You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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  (559): You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community. http://tfl.nu/nzga
  Replies (21) Good night (5935) Bad night (867)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1699) Bad night (8221)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.

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  (801): Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess. http://tfl.nu/8hwd
  Replies (8) Good night (4260) Bad night (1090)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"

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  (540): 'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?" http://tfl.nu/d6iq
  Replies (6) Good night (2124) Bad night (795)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me

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  (623): Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice. (1-623): That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me http://tfl.nu/ei2r
  Replies (8) Good night (2870) Bad night (782)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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  (251): I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either. http://tfl.nu/mrji
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (626)
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  (805): View more from California

  I want "hickeys on my ass" sex

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  (805): I want "hickeys on my ass" sex http://tfl.nu/gaw7
  Replies (11) Good night (1905) Bad night (646)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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  (214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (469)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me

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  (617): The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me http://tfl.nu/mmd5
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (488)

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