i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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