my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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