Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you would pick up someone in the library
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
