So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize