I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i would punch a child for taco bell
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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