so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What a dumb baby whore.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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