fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my liver is dry heaving
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize