Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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