Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
