Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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