Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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