i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
