guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
