It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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