You're completely useless in the revolution.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
