Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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