Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize