whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize