marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
