is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
