dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
