Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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