The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Found your dick twin last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
