yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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