her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
