He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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