piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think your dad took our porno
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
