her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
