This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!