she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.