did you get engaged???
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
