Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.

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  (847): chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc. http://tfl.nu/4h93
  Replies (11) Good night (1945) Bad night (694)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (571) Bad night (3250)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

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  (847): So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college? http://tfl.nu/onzy
  Replies (37) Good night (5355) Bad night (839)
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  (310): View more from California

  my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.

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  (310): my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings. http://tfl.nu/sarg
  Replies (28) Good night (1221) Bad night (6928)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet

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  (248): I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet http://tfl.nu/xsvu
  Replies (22) Good night (1072) Bad night (6039)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.

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  (413): He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m. http://tfl.nu/2wu4
  Replies (24) Good night (1240) Bad night (4907)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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  (512): I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed. http://tfl.nu/z4ve
  Replies (17) Good night (4262) Bad night (1839)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER

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  (203): THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER http://tfl.nu/gk2q
  Replies (7) Good night (1119) Bad night (3006)
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  (347): View more from New York

  So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok

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  (347): So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok http://tfl.nu/ez1i
  Replies (6) Good night (1277) Bad night (2372)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2535) Bad night (762)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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  (206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow
  Replies (5) Good night (1825) Bad night (1389)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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  (859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32
  Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (421)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.

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  (416): I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison. http://tfl.nu/ptp6
  Replies (1) Good night (1119) Bad night (297)
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  (213): View more from California

  Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!

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  (213): Well, we won the drunk before noon contest! http://tfl.nu/g4t1
  Replies (5) Good night (729) Bad night (273)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?

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  (770): So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night? http://tfl.nu/hytr
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (230)

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