Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement

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(717): John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement http://tfl.nu/es6t

Replies (53) Good night (954) Bad night (4890)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!

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(540): The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!! http://tfl.nu/g9me

Replies (21) Good night (4367) Bad night (1527)
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(239): View more from Florida

just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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(239): just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one http://tfl.nu/sg9e

Replies (18) Good night (7721) Bad night (1670)
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(817): View more from Texas

Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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(817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj

Replies (4) Good night (1079) Bad night (2460)
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(513): View more from Ohio

thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

(440): View more from Ohio

its only a rough draft.

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(513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud

Replies (10) Good night (3931) Bad night (917)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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(250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3

Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (2626)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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(804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0

Replies (11) Good night (3008) Bad night (725)
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(305): View more from Florida

New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'

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(305): New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made' http://tfl.nu/jx5j

Replies (1) Good night (1058) Bad night (737)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.

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(781): I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks. http://tfl.nu/y7p2

Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (376)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Really? A fat girl?

(1-206): View more from Washington

I'm walking her back. Chill out.

(1-206): View more from Washington

She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.

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(612): Really? A fat girl? (1-206): I'm walking her back. Chill out. (1-206): She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though. http://tfl.nu/xw6d

Replies (19) Good night (913) Bad night (500)
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(516): View more from New York

Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

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(516): Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM (973): I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std http://tfl.nu/e0ex

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (418)
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(330): View more from Ohio

And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown

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(330): And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown http://tfl.nu/9oqz

Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (393)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.

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(301): I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/nn8c

Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (393)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

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(318): Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27. http://tfl.nu/0qjv

Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (348)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties

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(732): Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties http://tfl.nu/grc0

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (298)

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