i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.