It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I smell stomach acid.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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