my vag is so smooth its legendary
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
