Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
