I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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