i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
