@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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