I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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