Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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