whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
