I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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