You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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