Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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