she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.