I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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