you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
