OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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