I am in a vortex of obligation.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
