his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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