i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
