I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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