Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
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He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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